I just read a topic WakasMir blog pe, which is similiar to what i was thinking to pen down but still its bit different… My Khala jaan was just mentioning ke there are some aunty back in Paksitan they know jo yeh kehti hain ke “Maine to apni beti ki shadi us se karni hai jo “bahir” hua, chahe buddha hi ho” ……………………. now “bahir” ka matlab im sure most of us know, out of county, in punjabi “Walait” u know…
I was like kyaaa? and why she want that, kya yeh koi khwahish paali hui hai unho ne, to barhi hi ajeee ajeeb ajeeb ajeeb o ghareeb khawahish hai 
but seriously how sad can some thoughts get? I was like but khala jaan how can a mother say such thing, i mean she living at home na, u sure she not in a mental hospital? coz mere khyal se to that is were such thinker shud be placed!!!!! Had hoti hai, and whats funny is, khala jaan said ke wo to bouhat khush har kisi se yeh baat kehti hain, and feel proud of it!
Now that made me say… “Jis baat pe koi bhi sensible person and jiska zameer bit awake hota wo sharmindagi se dhoob jata, she feeling proud of it?” hmmmmm, something not right! I sometimes think very deeply abt the fact that why is it so ke jin baaton ko bande ko soch kar bhi sharam ani chahiye, unhi baaton ko wo bouhat easily share karte phirte hain and feel proud to do so! uff..and ……Rishtedaaron mein agar koi kisi se shaadi karna chahe just coz of Walait jane keliye to boy oh boy they even go for “jadooo” and stuff like that, ke kaam ban jaye, and jo shaadi arrange nahin ho rahi wo “Love marriage” ho jaye… hehe, funny but sad! hmmmm
Since i heard this baat, and yes I know yeh koi aik aunty nahin hain, and neither is this the fist time I heard such “khwahish”. There are a plenty of such sick minded “humans” out there, lalchi and khudgarz…..One dear friend of mine got married to a guy from Pakistan and he came over here, they got a beautiful baby boy, and that firnd of mine thougthe loved her and so on but with time she get to know that he only wanted the visa and just few days b4 he wud get it he revealed the truth, stupid duy na, kuch din wait kar leta, coz the girl simply went to police and told them to throw him out of country……..and thats her right!
But thats a long story… phir sahi…. about that “pathetic-wish-aunty” I mean “walait” mein kya rakha hua hai? Some will say yea you been out of country all your life, tum yehi kahogi, but honestly this thing that “shaadi us se karni hai apni beti ki jo “bahir” hua and chahe budda hi ho” that crosses the limit…. And unfortunately there are many “Buddas” unluckely living in walait who so happily take advantage of this thing… chahe hath mein laathi thaami ho, chala jaa na raha ho and khwahish hoti hai ji ke aik khubsurat dosheeza ka sath ho, apna aap sambhala nahin jata aik our ka boojh sambhalne ke talabgaar! Allah muaf kare………. and aise logon ki tamanna ko waise “Auntiyan” poora kar deti hain! Shaadi ko and zindagiyon ko mazaq banaya hua hai… Kyon insaan ka zameer aise mar gya hai 
I know ke zameer aik kamzor judge hota hai, uski awaz daba lete hain insan, lekin kya itna kamzor ho gya hai?
Afsos again Afsos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ….Again afsos! Jahan sharmindagi ka mukaam hai waha fakhar karna, hamakat nahin to kya hai? ……
September 17th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Bohat khoob.. bohat hi zabardast baat uthai hei.. It’s true that these types of people don’t have any dil in their body, or if they do they certainly aren’t aware ke apni beti ki zindagi tabah kar rahe hein aise.. hmm Allah hidayaat de aise bando ko.. ameen
Wakas Mirs last blog post..Baal baal bach gaye
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Yehi to afsos ki baat hai na Wakas ke they know they tabah karing apne children ki zindagi, but still they go for it… Ameen sum Ameen to ur dua hmm
Be blessed!
~BholiBhali
September 17th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Yeh thats not unheard of or something new, for aunty jees to want their daughter or son married off to someone whos “Bahir”.
That’s why if you go to India/Pakistan and ue from UK or US they’ll be fighting over you to get their daughter wedded to you. Believe…….its all about the Red Passport or the Green card! It’s their Jannat lol.
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Thanx for ur views, yea thats xactly what happens, they fight for it hmmm, sad! If any1 thinks its their jannat than they really unfortunate coz that will no doubt lead their kids to a living “Jahanum” …but I wonder ummm do such ppl care abt it? I dont think so…… Allah hidayat de hum sab ko, Ameeen!
~BholiBhali
September 17th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Wonderful topic bholibhali n you know fairly common practise in India as well.Vilaayati grooms are high on demand and yes if they have unreasonable demands those are met as well.What they need is not someone new to be added to their family, but a passport / visa to go abroad for the glamour of having a son/daughter in law abroad .
Appreciate your thoughts and apologise for writing in angrezi but humein laga ki jo humari mann mein hei hum angrezi mein clearly likh sakte hein
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Xactly Saanj, its so sad hai na hmmm, I mean is it really that “glamourous” ke its worth destroying someones entire life? this is really sad… And yea no masla, I understand you even if you write in hmmm japanies
…. hehe…
~BholiBhali
September 17th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
how sad and pathetic
yeh tu ek esa decision hota hai jo begair kesi lalach begair kesi garz ke karna chaeya
i am gona quote a hadith our beloved prophet (pbuh)
A woman is married for four things - her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman otherwise you will be a loser.” (Reported in Al-Bukhari)
this hadith makes it clear that even though we consider several other factors but choosing the one who is religious is the best option
khawabs last blog post..Non-Islamic Tradition!
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Hey Khawab
Welcome… Thanx for sharing the hadith, and very true agar is decision mein “lalaj” ho then the first step hi wrong, aage kya hona hota hai hmm, I guess ppl with this mindset ke “Bahir” hi karni hai shaadi and so on they just not aware of the true purpose of life, and sadly yeh saari baatein “jahalat” ki hain…. Be blessed!
~BholiBhali
September 18th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Bholibhali jee U raised a very critical point. Actually our social structure has several bad things, one of them is this.Per BB is se bhi bri burai pata kia hai kay ham bachon pe apni pasand, napsand ko thoptay hain, is main parents sirf apna mufad dekhtay hain they even not bother to know the will of their children.
Ham apnay bachon ki personalities ko masakh detay hain. Is mian sirf larkian hi nahin larkay bhi utna he zulam ka shikar hotay hain. its pathetic!!!!!!!!
MZs last blog post..Ik bat kahoon
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Thanx for ur view, As I said parents ka bouhat ziyada role hota hai in all this, and unfortunately some parents nor kids (ladkiyan ho ya ladke) are aware of their rights when it comes to these issues… but as for this that “Thopna” their marzi on children.. Im actually thinking of writhing my khyalaat on that as well…soon InshAllah
~BholiBhali
September 18th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Interesting topic! As shallow as this whole thing is, given the bad economy of Pakistan, you can’t blame mothers for wanting their children to settle abroad. I had a friend in high school who got married at age 19 to a man in his forties who was a physician in UK. She has kids, a beautiful house, and flies to see her family a few times a year. I haven’t had a chance to ask her if she is content, though.
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Welcome to my Blog Meher
And thanx for your views on this… 1st I wud like to just clear one thing that I by no mean tried 2 or did blame the mothers, as I personally dont think we can judge Any1 at all…BUT… we definitely need to Try to do our best to stop these type thinking and let those who think such know this aint the right attitude towards life, in hope of any change!
Neither i meant that one shudnt marry a man with age as double as the girl or wise versa, the thing is that marry a man just coz he lives abroad is something i wud say again is really pathetic thought, let it be for economy or what so ever… Mana ke every parent wants the best for their kids, but showing it this way? well quite cheapie way! I hope your friend is living happy and having a healthy relationship, Allah bless her, InshAllah… I also know abt a girl who lived in our neighbour in Pakistan, she got married when she were 21 to man who 42, but they accepted the Rishta only coz he lived in Europe, well It would be very long post if I get into details but he used to beat her up, and at the end once he just couldnt resist trapping her and throw her down from the balcony, she died at the spot, leaving behind two baby girls at age 2 and 3, and u know what that “abroad man” didnt even face a case against him………….May her soul rest in peace! Jo jiske naseeb mein ho wo use mil kar rehta hai….
So I guess every1 talks from their experience and what they have seen around, One should never ever ever cross the limit, and accepting a proposal only coz girl/guy is living out of country is not only sad, its absurd and pathetic as anything can get…
…. Be blessed!
~BholiBhali
September 19th, 2008 at 3:25 am
‘Walait’ isnt that bad…but not in the way the mentioned ‘aunty’ has it.
Waisy bhi ‘Bahir’ ka bhoot buhat logo~ par sawar hai…what we need is sm exorcist
AamirRazs last blog post..“Let the sunlight in.”
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Welcome to my blog
And who said walait is bad? 
hehe We been living her since ages so kam se kam we cant say that, but yea those type “Auntiyan” are way to unfair… Hmmm..rightly said bahir ka “bhoot” 
“Bhoot” does lots of damage sometimes… Be blessed!
~BholiBhali
September 21st, 2008 at 3:39 am
“Allah muaf kare………. and aise logon ki tamanna ko waise “Auntiyan” poora kar deti hain!”…LOL!I like this line and it’s indeed true.. In Deccan Hyderabad the poor muslim families use to give their daughters to old shaikh’s from UAE, Saudi, Kuwait or you can say the Gulf shaikh’s as these shaikh’s doesn’t want to pay huge mehar money in their countries to brides. Lekin I hate those parents jo kuch bhi nahi sochtey apni aulaad ke barey main unko bas yehi fikar hoti hai key ye larki wala bojh kiskey sar pey dalein and in this misconception they ruin girl’s lives.. Alhmdulillah there is such thing has been stopped upto some extent but we need to make them understand the superiority of daughter’s in Islam. May Allah guide us all on right path………Aameen!
masoods last blog post..Laylatul Qadr!
September 28th, 2008 at 10:49 am
well, our girls still lack the ability to tale stand even for their life. They just go crazy after a man with money but come in parents home in 3 -4 years by divorce. common.
September 29th, 2008 at 8:50 am
well what you mentioned yaseen is a common thing sadly.. but majority of girls who want to live their life properly as per those who are voicing their opinion want someone who cares and loves them.. money isn’t an issue..
Wakas Mirs last blog post..Backbiting and how it affects us
September 29th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Eid Mubarak!
nadias last blog post..Eid Mubarak!
October 1st, 2008 at 1:25 pm
NIce subject once again bholbhali…n i do pity such mom’s who think like that…do u think wilait main apni beti ko dene se zimmedari khatm..what security do u have ke that boy is suitable n is of good character…just for the green card sauda kar diya apni bachi ka nomatter what happens with her later..i have seen shattered girls coming back with broken heart..n my heart really goes to them.
no we have so many options to earn in india/pakistan to earn..better to marry our girls with the boys who r settled in their respective country…ankhon ke samne to rahenge aur ache bure main sath to rahega.
Thanks for bringing this topic to our notice ..waiting for more such topics.
bless u n eid mubarak..Allah sab ki duain kubool karain..Ameen
aarzoos last blog post..“Aarzoo” Eid usee din mire ghar hoti hai
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 am
Eid mubarak bholibhali
October 24th, 2008 at 7:27 am
Bohat zabardast kaam kya hai aap ne.
Weldone
Marias last blog post..Quran and World Peace
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Thanx so much Maria
And welcome.. Be blessed!
~BholiBhali
November 13th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Assalamu Alaikum, bholi bhali.
Ab bas, sis. Ajaao wapis, we miss you a lot. Nadia and I always remember you in every conversation, may Allah subhanawata’la give you a good health and make you more strong..Aameen. Please come back.
masoods last blog post..Take control of your day with these 10 time management skills
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Awwww Masood bhai that sos sweet, made me teary
Thanx so much for itni duayien, I was just sent on vacation by Allah, hmmm hopefully that wont happend again InshAllah! Allah bless you and Nadia sis with lots of happiness, Ameen 
~BholiBhali